How is it to be friends?
In one of the songs of Vladimir Vysotsky, there are lines about a friend, with whom it’s not scary to go to the mountains: “So, like yourself, put your trust in him!” Such relationships cannot be created simply by clicking the Add to Friends button. They are built over the years on mutual respect and sacrificial love, tempered in difficult life situations.
Where does friendship begin?
Friendship is a type of personal relationship based on mutual sympathy, intimacy and trust. True friendship has these traits:
- Friends are aware of each other’s strengths and weaknesses and accept them;
- Friends have a lot in common: interests and attitudes, tastes and preferences, secrets, memories and experiences;
- Trust and confidence that one of the friends will not use the other’s weaknesses for their own purposes;
- The right of everyone to rely on each other's strengths.
Friendship directly depends on how strong and significant are the connections of which it consists. If there are many strong connections between people, it means that the friendship is strong. If significant connections prevail, friendship is close, spiritual.It is not necessary that both friends should evaluate their relationship equally. Someone puts more effort into them, someone less, but since there is mutual affection and trust, these differences do not play a big role. Over time, some of the ties are destroyed, and new ones appear (or do not appear), as a result of which the friendship may grow stronger or weaker.
How is it - to be friends for real?
True friendship is inherent frankness, trust, sincerity and selflessness. Friends spend a lot of time together, enjoying mutual communication and sharing with each other both joys and sorrows. If they value their relationship, then they learn to forgive, forget the insults and not to quarrel over trifles.
Many confuse the concept of "friend" and "buddy." Undoubtedly, there are similarities between them: both characterize a person close to someone in their views, activities, belonging to the same group (political, sports, religious), as well as being friendly to someone. Frequently friendly relationships are established with work colleagues. Their difference from friendship is that when a person leaves the team, his relationship with former employees either weakens or completely stops.We also call a friend of a close friend as a friend, although communication with him can be limited to courtesy during short-term meetings.
With the advent of social networks, another kind of friendship has emerged - virtual. Friends (or "friends") in such networks can be called people who have never crossed paths in their lives. They chat in the network, put "likes" to each other, comment on the photos, and at a meeting they manage with two or three common phrases. Of course, this can hardly be called a true friendship, rather a pleasant pastime. A certain illusion of participation in the life of another person is created, but emoticons cannot replace sincere emotions: an encouraging smile, a laugh “from the heart”, an understanding look, as is the case if you are really friends.
Friendship in different periods of history
- The ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle identified two main types of friendship: noble and one that is based on interest. Only a noble friendship has the right to be considered a real one, the second type was perceived rather as a partnership.
- Pythagoras understood this concept as equality and unity of all with everyone.He considered the most valuable kind of friendship that exists regardless of the social status of people. In early antiquity, selfless communication was a model of wisdom and goodness.
- In the Middle Ages, friendship was often replaced by profit. The personal qualities of a person were inferior to his belonging to a particular class. With the development of capitalism, the situation changed, although even then there were people for whom commodity-money relations turned out to be more important than friendship.
- During the Renaissance, creative groups of young poets and writers were actively formed, among which often there were close friendships. They were united by the ideas of humanism, individual freedom and creative activity.
In modern society, where individualism rules, true friendship is worth its weight in gold. People are afraid to open up to each other, hiding their feelings under the mask of courtesy, forgetting how to be friends. Trying to protect themselves from other people's problems, they choose personal comfort and peace of mind. However, such an easy and relaxed relationship at the first difficulty falls apart, like a house of cards.
Therefore, it is very important to appreciate true friends, find time to communicate with them and be ready to support them in difficult times.
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