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Why do they hate me?

People often experience the hostility of the outside world, and any psychologist can confirm that with a problem: why everyone hates me, so many patients turn to him, regardless of gender, age, or even social status.

However, hatred is a strong enough feeling, and in fact not many people are able to experience it constantly, especially to a person who, in essence, is not significant for them. And if someone is not treated too well at work, avoided or ignored, made fun of him or tried to hurt frankly, if he does not feel support from close people, then it’s still very rarely about such a strong feeling as hatred . As a rule, in most cases, the question “why it seems to me that I hate” will be more relevant than the question as to why they hate me.

Problems with self-esteem

In most cases, the surrounding reality is a reflection of our own attitude toward ourselves and our self-perception.And if a person feels uncomfortable in the company of other people, if he considers himself for some reason worse than others, if he subconsciously forbids himself to be happy, necessary and loved, he will build relationships with others that will directly or indirectly serve as confirmation that he really is not interesting to anyone and is not worthy of a good attitude.

A person can change his social circle, change his place of residence, work, study to start a new life, find those with whom he can build new relationships, but wherever he comes, everything will be repeated according to the same scenario. Because you need to change not external circumstances, but your internal “I”, your self-esteem and your self-perception.

How to increase self-esteem

This is a hard inner work, which involves finding the causes of low self-esteem, starting from early childhood, you need to remember all the traumatic moments when you seemed to yourself worse than others, when you were ashamed of your failure, when you felt negative feelings to yourself, when you tormented by guilt feelings. Reassess these moments in terms of an adult and self-confident person, consider whether you were really so bad that you deserve hate in the first place,by myself.

Remember those moments when you had a thought about why everyone hates me? Did those around you really hate you, or did you just project your own attitude towards yourself? Learn to understand yourself, see and adequately assess your virtues and forgive your faults, as well as see the virtues and forgive the faults of other people.

Hate and love

The second problem, connected with the fact that it seems to a person that he is hated, may arise against the background of love dependence.

Amorous, or as it is also called, emotional dependence, is the need for communication and relations with a specific person. From a normal love or friendship, emotional dependence is distinguished by the fact that it is one of the destructive, that is, self-destructive ways of filling inner emptiness.

It is as if a person dissolves in the object of his passion, he needs to be constantly around, and he perceives any obvious or imaginary inattention or neglect as an insult. It is from people suffering from love addiction, for every trifling reason one can hear discussions of the topic concerning why she hates me?

Dependence on love is very different from love, primarily because it destroys a person. An addicted person sacrifices his time, energy, finances and even health in order to be close to the subject of his addiction. He narrows the circle of vital interests, he feels euphoric when he is near, and is in a state of depression if he is separated from his beloved or loved one.

In the end, the object of sighs begins to avoid communicating with his admirer, as it becomes too painful. This is the reason for new sufferings and worries about why he hates me ?. A person deprived of the opportunity to see and communicate with the object of his love dependence is very much affected. It is possible to stay in the doldrums or even attempt suicide.

Unfortunately, it is very difficult to cope with love addiction on your own, the person himself, and often his surroundings take pathological dependence as strong and beautiful feelings. A good indicator in this case can serve as a factor in whether these relations are destructive for the individual, and if they are,then specialist assistance is needed, not only to help cope with the current state, but also to learn how to build constructive relationships based on reciprocity.


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